Archive for April, 2003

Phoons

Saturday, April 26th, 2003

Phoons from Around the World

KMAOL

Saturday, April 26th, 2003


Solidarity NOW for BigBlueBall.com!

kmaol

Friday, April 25th, 2003

kmaol – tell people what you really think

:::::: Tangerine Dream ::::::

Thursday, April 24th, 2003

:::::: Tangerine Dream ::::::

star chamberpot

Thursday, April 24th, 2003

the location where a court or group marked by arbitrary, oppressive, and secretive procedures, gather to shoot the shit; see steering committee

Iraqi Information Minister

Thursday, April 24th, 2003

We Love the Iraqi Information Minister

[ grap a pencil and remember this phone number ]

Friday, April 18th, 2003

Now here’s a different twist on that ridiculous send me money scheme… think it will be any more successful than the rest?

Dear Ladies and sirs.

Excuse for anxiety.

At the Daughter – leukemia (Myeloblastik leukemia).

Operation is urgently necessary.

Cost of operation – 170000,00 dollars.

We shall be grateful to any help.

Are if necessary ready to give anyone confirming
the documents.
The help and donations to direct under the following essential elements:

1. Western Union.
Puzikov Yuriy
Puzikova Elena
Ukraine, Donetsk area,. Gorlovka

2. Webmoney
ID – 418432284093

E 895477535945
R 902601032773
Z 530907562036

5. E-gold
Account 700638

5. Bank essential elements.

US DOLLARS

SWIFT – IRVT US 3N BANK OF NEW YORK NEW YORK, aññ 890-0060-077 or SWIFT – BKTR US 33 DEUTSCHT BANK TRAST CO AMERIKAS, NEW YORK, acc 04-182-382 Bank beneficiary: SWIFT – UPIB UA UX, Prominvestbank, Kiev, Ukraine, Account No. 39015901334635 \ 840 MFO 334635 of Donetsk branch Prominvestbank, Beneficiary: PYZIKOV YURI Account No.26207501752132

ÅVRÎ

SWIFT – DEUT DEFF DEUTSCHE BANK, FRANKFURT – ESCHBORN, àññ 949829600 or SWIFT – DEUT DEFF Ñîmmerzbank AG., Frankfurt /Main Account No. 400886628700 Bank beneficiary: SWIFT – UPIB UA UX, Prominvestbank, Kiev, Ukraine, Account No. 39015901334635 \ 978 MFO 334635 of Donetsk branch Prominvestbank, Beneficiary: PYZIKOV YURI Account No.26207501752132

4. Contact information.

The electronic address:

puzikov@gorlovka.net
puzikov@donec.net

The telephone – fax +380 6242 53937

Beforehand we thank for the help.

Yours faithfully Family Puzikov.

Mighty Wind – 5 Stars

Thursday, April 17th, 2003

You will hear a lot about this movie!

Sherry and I just returned from seeing it here at the Aliso Viejo Edward’s on opening night with about 50 other die-hard Guest/Levy ensemble cast fans. Considering that it opened on a Wednesday night (which I recall was when ALL of the movies used to premiere back in the 60’s), it was nice to NOT fight the crowds. But as word of mouth spreads, I predict this will become a sleeper. You will have the more of the same enjoyment you did with This is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show, but you will become drawn in to the relationship between Mitch (Eugene Levy) and Mickey (Catherine O’Hara).

AND listen to the lyrics while the credits role. :)

Tuesday, April 15th, 2003

BigBlueBall News: AOL Wants to Shut Down BigBlueBall Smiler – Them BASTARDS!

Process Analysis and Review

Wednesday, April 9th, 2003

THIS is the secret to success…

OK. A show of hands for all company executives for whom this approach seems like THE solution to all their problems. I don’t mean to be cynical, but just how many of you consultants out there have adopted this differentiation strategy? [Let me suggest you visit the psychoLOGIC Business Consultant Network for a sanity check.] Anyone heard of Plan-Do-Study-Act? Look before you Leap? Plan the work and work the plan? You can lead an executive to water but you can’t make him drink?

Anyway, enjoy the read…[by the way, I’ve introduced my editorial comments in brackets to provide a running commentary – ala MS3TK.]

R.L. Nelson and Associates, Inc. utilizes a proven, field-tested structure methodology to insure clients receive the optimal solution to achieve their business objectives. Our approach encompasses the client’s existing business practices and objectives, and a forward looking perspective that is designed to deliver solutions that are cost effective and scaleable to meet the changing business environment. [I count over a dozen uses of consultant jargon. I know – I’ve used them myself! But honestly, all executives will hear is “blah blah blah blah blah bend over and blah blah blah cost a lot of money blah blah blah no chance in hell of success“]

Meet with Key Management Personnel to Define the Project Scope
R.L. Nelson and Associates, Inc.’s goal is to assist our clients in achieving their business objectives through the strategic integration of people, processes and technology. Properly identifying a project and its scope is crucial to achieving this goal. [Again, set the jar-guns to stun.] During this phase our consultants will [usually NOT]:

– Meet with executive management to review stakeholder needs, strategic direction and supporting objectives
– Obtain executive management’s buy-in and approval of the project
– Develop and understanding of management’s vision
– Review the client’s business plan
– Review process flow documentation
– Obtain an overview of the technology infrastructure and applications in use
– Identify any barriers or constraints on the project
– With management, author a project scope document [Wrong! YOU will author this and coerce management to send out an email supporting it – if you are lucky.]

Develop a Detailed Project Plan
Conducting the consulting engagement within the confines of the project scope document requires the development of a detailed project plan. The project plans acts as the road map to guide the project. Various tools are used during this phase, including time lines, Gantt charts, Continuous Improvement procedures and process documentation software tools. [Geeze Louise… you missed work process improvement, knowledge management, and mental masturbation.] The primary tasks completed in this phase are:

Identify and select team members [Read: Attempt to excite people who have been drafted to participate against their will.]
– Confirm that a full and shared understanding of stakeholder needs, the strategic direction, business objectives and project objectives exists among all participants
– Define the time frame for the project
– Define and assign specific tasks
– Define the monitoring and evaluation criteria
– Present findings to management

Present specific findings, recommendations and Project Plan to management. Upon acceptance by management [now THIS is the key to the lucrative world of business consulting – the more dense management is, th elong it takes them to accept – hence the more money YOU make! Remember this, grasshopper] , execute the Project Plan.

Execute the Project Plan

“Vision without execution is an hallucination” [Don’t you love these quotes? I need to come up with a few of my own, copyright them, and then charge consultants a royalty everytime they want to use one. Like that old lady that wrote the “Happy Birthday” song…]

Working within the project scope, our consultants in conjunction with the various team members will execute the Project Plan in a timely and cost-effective manner. [RIGHT!] As with any project, unexpected forces arise that impact the project’s scope. [No Shit Sherlock… that’s your holy grail. But since you know that every project has them, are they really unexpected? I think not. They are damn well expected and essential for consulting success.] The feedback loop built into our methodology enables us to recognize and act upon these forces and react appropriately. [Think they copyrighted this fancy schmancy feedback loop thing?] Monitoring the execution of the Project Plan is a critical component of this phase to insure that the project is on-time, on-budget and meets the specification of the Project Plan.

Monitor the Solution

To complete the consulting process, the solution’s impact and results must be monitored and measured against the project objectives. Any changes or enhancements that are required are implemented using the above methodology. [Notice how the last step is ALWAYS the most briefly worded and simply stated. The reason for this is that rarely does the consultant ever get to the part of the process where they can actually develop any good go-bys. By this stage, executive management has changed out, last years initiatives are shit-canned, and the old consultants are released/ Be thankful you lasted this long.]

[Elapsed time: 1 year minimum. Sustainability: None.]

*** WWW.HELLACOPTERS.COM ***

Sunday, April 6th, 2003

*** WWW.HELLACOPTERS.COM ***

A Mighty Wind

Saturday, April 5th, 2003

A Mighty Wind

Mighty Wind Trailer

Saturday, April 5th, 2003

The latest creation from Christopher Guest and company.

You loved This is Spinal Tap. Waiting for Guffman. Best in Show. Which also means you probably used to watch and love SCTV. This thing has got to ROCK!

Watch the trailer, and then plan to see it on opening night – which will be April 16 for a lucky few of us.

quintassence

Friday, April 4th, 2003

the pure, concentrated essence; the most perfect embodiment of being an asshole.

A Chronological History of English Glam Rock!

Friday, April 4th, 2003

A Chronological History of English Glam Rock! (baby)

Wildhearts

Friday, April 4th, 2003

The Wildhearts

Thursday, April 3rd, 2003

Acronym Finder: Look up 286,000 acronyms/abbreviations & their definitions

Thursday, April 3rd, 2003

– ideas happen – learn